I swung open the door to the AYR shop in New York City that told me I was at the “Corner of Bad and Ass.” The modern, bright showroom was mostly empty, temporarily closed due to the pandemic, but on white hangers were product samples of crisp Oxford shirts and yet-to-be-launched lounge sets in seasonal pastels. It was the kind of place where you might come in to pick out a pair of classic straight jeans, but end up trying on those fun denim flares and oh, why not slip into a few shirts too.

Lydia greeted me in a floral-print mask that hinted at the playful person underneath.

(This interview has been transcribed and edited for clarity.)

Tell me your origin story.

My name is Lydia Choy, I was born and raised in California and I moved to New York after college to go to art school. I started working in the fashion industry in 2001 and I’ve worked in merchandising, retail sales, and currently I work in production, product development, and supply chain. I work at a womenswear brand called AYR based in New York City. I’m a part of a really small team, and we’re a female founded company which I think is really great.

How did you connect with your Korean heritage growing up?

My parents immigrated to the states in 1975, so it’s been 45, 46 years, but they still don't really speak English. My Korean is not that great. We were in the suburbs, about 20 minutes east of LA, but my grandparents were in LA, so we were in Koreatown all the time. There are so many Koreans there that you can really get by without speaking English. My Dad's Korean is a little better than my Mom's, and I think they understand way more than they actually let on, but they don’t really speak it.

I was the oldest child, so for the first five years of my life, I spoke Korean to my parents so only I learned Korean -- and then starting elementary school I always wondered, “How did I survive kindergarten without speaking English?” But I guess as a kid, you learn really fast. I watched a lot of Sesame Street and PBS shows. I guess TV was my English teacher.

My sister and I, all of us, speak English to each other and some of my other relatives also speak English, but we speak Konglish (a blend of Korean and English) to our parents. So I think they understand a lot, but they don't speak it to us, or if they do it’s in a joking way. It’s just how it was growing up for me, so there was always a weird double culture clash at home.

The sad part for me is that my Korean isn't great, and their English isn’t great, so our conversations can only go so deep. My Korean probably stops at a kindergarten or elementary school level, so when we speak to each other it’s only surface level chit chat, just checking in on each other. There's a point at which we can get the jist of how we’re all feeling, but we can't dive deep into any subject. We each try to explain something in depth, but it just can't go there because the words aren't there. But what am I going to do? Put it in Papago every time? So I think this has been a sort of barrier to our relationship not being deeper than it could be.

It used to make me more sad or frustrated when I was younger, but now it’s just been so long that I’ve just accepted that this is our relationship. They care about: “Are you happy? Have you eaten? Are you taking care of yourself?” That's all they seem to truly care about really, at the core. If you're okay, then we’re okay.

There were times when I was younger that I would get frustrated. “Why don't they just learn English?” To me, if I were my parents, and I wanted to be really close with my kids, almost like friends - that kind of parent - then I would have taken it on myself to learn English to be able to fully communicate with them, but that’s not the choice they made.

We grew up just kind of in the middle: not poor, not wealthy. We had a house, we went to school, we all went to college, but to think that my parents made this possible from having nothing at all when they first moved here, is pretty incredible. So I don't blame them. I'm not angry at them for not learning how to speak English fluently. It is just what it is and that's okay.

They immigrated here and their whole lives have been for survival: trying to “make it,” having their kids here and having them succeed. So maybe learning English wasn't even a luxury they had. They didn't have time to think about that. They were just working hard, raising a family, and all the things that they worried about revolved around us.

This did make us - my sister and my brother and I - really independent, self-sufficient people. My parents instilled in us work ethic and values which I'm very appreciative of. I consider myself really hard-working, very focused, and motivated, and well, I get that from my parents.

Did you always know you wanted to go into fashion?

Yes (without hesitation). Since I was probably in grade school, I was just drawn to it.

Actually my mom, when I was really young, she would sew at home. It was called “home-work,” or something like that. Her friends had garment businesses, factories in downtown LA, and my mom wanted to stay home. She stayed home until we were in high school, but she would do things so that she could work at home, like babysitting or sewing, to make some money. But that’s probably when I got a taste of fashion and being around clothes. This is actually something that I never connected the dots directly with my path into fashion because it was just something that seemed so natural.

And in grade school I started getting into magazines and fashion, and I was definitely obsessed with that. I don't know what it was about it, but I was just naturally drawn to it! I remember being young and making up a fake fashion newspaper at home. I would cut up things here and there, and make magazines, collages, scrapbooks, paper dolls and draw clothes on them. It was such a big part of my life.

So I don't think my parents were surprised when I changed course after college [to go into fashion]. They were probably just like “Oh. Okay, I get it.” It wasn't like “Wait, where did that come from?” They saw my paper dolls, my fake fashion magazines. It’s not like they were shocked when I said I was going to move to New York and work in fashion.

You said watching your mom when you were young had shaped your interests. How did watching her sew influence you?

So all through elementary school, my mom would sew at home, and her friend would take it back downtown, bringing her more stuff. I remember that my grandmother sewed really well too, so I'm guessing she learned from her own mother. Looking back now, I can say that it naturally made me interested in “making things.”

We had a bedroom with a sewing machine in it and that was where she worked. I just accepted it as the norm. It wasn’t weird and it’s not like my mom ever complained about it, so to me, it just seemed like fun. It never registered to me as, “Oh, she's working. She's keeping the house all day and sewing at night.” She did stay up really late, but to me it was just like, “Oh this is fun! She’s making stuff!” It was very simple.

She would start working after dinner at night because during the day she’s watching us, cooking, taking care of the house. I think that already as a young kid, this instilled a sort of a “anything goes” or “you do what you have to do,” mentality. There was a hustle.

My siblings and I would just sit there in the room, on the floor just watching her because it was so fascinating. “What are you doing? How are you doing that?” Because it was a really fast industrial machine; she would be working small pieces: a pocket on a shirt, but hundreds of them, or in like, bundles.

But it was always a kind of a fun atmosphere too because things were never really serious in our household. That kind of levity was great for growing up. I think it also helped make any frustrations or things I had easier to deal with, too.

It’s kind of incredible to think of how much my mom had on her plate when she was so young. It’s crazy to think that she did all that work without really complaining or like making it seem like it was even a difficult thing. But it was a hard thing! She had me at the age of 23 and my dad was 27. So I think about being 29 or 30-years old, having a child, who had just moved to a different country, and trying to work and survive. I just never appreciated it until I was much older.

So imagine: she had taken care of us all day, cooked, cleaned, and it's already past 8 pm and instead of taking a break, she's at home sewing until midnight or so. Thinking back on it, it’s super inspiring because she just did it all and never complained, and I think that must have naturally instilled a work ethic in me, just being around that.

If I told her all this and how watching her when I was young has inspired me, I think it would blow her mind. As I said, because of our language barrier, I can’t just sit here and tell her this whole story or this connection directly, but I think she would be really happy to know that she has influenced me in that way.

So I could definitely credit my mom for my interest in fashion and the part that I play in this industry. I'm working in production and product development now, which is basically how things get made, how to figure out the problems and solve them, and she did just that. I saw her do that. It’s great to connect these dots.

How has your Korean heritage shaped who you are now?

Growing up, my elementary school, my junior high, and high school were all fairly diverse so I was never like the one that stood out or made to feel like different because I was Korean; I never felt a need to change or want to be different. I was really lucky that this was never a huge issue and I didn’t experience any bullying even though I know that happens widely.

And working in fashion, my first jobs always had at least one or a couple of other Asians in the office, so I wouldn’t notice it too much; I didn't feel self-conscious or anything like that. But one of my earlier jobs in production was at a bigger company, at J. Crew, and there I did notice that I was one of maybe three Asians on the entire floor of hundreds of people. That was definitely interesting to me. But it was like, “Oh that's cool. I hope I'm going to do well here.” Maybe even be able to set an example.

Then I began to start noticing new hires as the years went on. I was there for about 10, 11 years in total and by the time I left, there were so many Asians that it was almost the opposite; there were more Asians than non-Asians, which was crazy to me. But seeing that change was really interesting. A lot of the departments had pretty diverse groups later on.

Our crew, including designers and production people, were not even all Asian Americans. There were a bunch of Asians from Europe, several from Hong Kong, but all working in New York City in the industry. We bonded over being Asian, and acknowledging whatever we had to go through; some people were discriminated against, and some people had to go through bigger hardships than I did, but just acknowledging and knowing that “I know, and you know, we know the things we've encountered in trying to get to where we are.”

So there was definitely a special kind of community, a bond, because it's like, “Hey, I'm Asian, you're Asian, and you probably had to work a little harder to stand out in your class to get here and get these jobs.” So there's kind of like an acknowledgement of, “I get you.”

What’s in the future for you?

I mean I think my fascination with how things work is just always that's just a part of me so I think whatever it is, it will be related to making things I like and bringing them to life you. I love all the little details of how to get something made - whatever it may be - but I think that's always what will be most interesting to me.

For now it’s trying to make AYR grow. We are a small six-person team, plus or minus a couple of freelancers, and most of us are women, which is really great. We’re all strong, a bit stubborn, motivated people (laughs). So getting this to really take off is a big challenge that we're excited about as we gain traction.

If there is a way to inspire other people or other younger people who are interested in doing it but aren't sure how to get started, I'm totally down to connect or mentor. I do enjoy that. I didn't think I did, because I’ve always been independent at just doing my thing, but I realized that I do. We had a new teammate join last year, right when quarantine started, so she was remote the entire year and I had to teach her everything through Zoom and phone calls. Although it was really challenging, I enjoyed it! It felt fresh and new. I guess that's something I learned about myself: I enjoy teaching or mentoring. If I can help anyone, then of course, why not?